My senior year of high school is coming closer and closer and I’m starting to panic more and more. I’m fairly new to the school, kinda, and my group of friends graduated, so I’m left with a couple people I talked to during my classes and my awkwardness.
Making friends before I moved used to never be a problem for me.
I don’t know what changed, honestly.
But, I seriously hope that I’m going to suck up my social awkwardness, and actually find long-term friends who won’t back stab me like my ex”bestie” did.
I’m always the type of person to hold onto a feeling I once had in a relationship. For example: if I experienced a lot of anger in a relationship, I would always be angry at that person, no matter what. The anger will show up in any situation possible. I’ve found this to be a problem, a big one.
I was in a 4 or 5 month relationship last year and the beginning of this year. That relationship had to be the best relationship I have ever been in. I was extremely happy and confident in where the relationship would take my partner and I. I’m not going to discuss what happened between us, but we’ve recently started talking again.
The feelings are coming back.
I’m currently in a relationship, also. And every time I talk to my ex, the feelings almost become stronger and stronger. My current boyfriend does know about this. I’ve told him every single thing, and that doesn’t stop him from wanting to be in a relationship with me. That gives me hope, but it also makes me feel absolutely terrible. I have this weird feeling that if I openly tell my ex that I still somewhat “love” them, that this whole ordeal will disappear and everything will be back to how it SHOULD be.
I’m going to take the chance and tell them. If I’m going to be the Laura 2.0, then I might as well start a clean honest slate.